Many men hesitate – some for years – before they resolve to get treatment for their ED. Keep reading to hear about what it was like for some of them:

Ted Calkins, a 36-year-old smoker and borderline diabetic with high blood pressure, and his wife Diane: “I was raised, you know, the tough guy image: there’s nothing wrong with me so I don’t have to see a doctor. Six months into our marriage, I would say ‘I need to go and see a doctor,’ but I’d never take that step. It affected our marriage severely. Six months into our marriage we were ready to end it. There were nights and days when we never saw each other because we were arguing. I’m an avid motorcycle rider and I’d go out at midnight and come back at 3:00 in the morning and get up at 6:00 to go to work.”

Ronaldo Tomas, living with diabetes for 10 years, and ED for five years: “I was a person that was always full of drive, full of wanting to be involved in activities and so on, and when this part of my body started to dysfunction, it put me in a kind of a depression. It was very difficult to deal with the situation, especially in our home, where things about sex were not discussed. I am originally from Latin America and there is a problem within that culture when talking about sexual things. I thought I could just forget it, live with it and forget about it.”

John Stedman, 52, living with prostate cancer, and his wife Caryn: “I lost the ability to have an erection – that’s part of the prostate cancer therapy. I knew that was going to happen. It diminished over a period of time – a few months. Then it absolutely stopped. Basically what happened was, rather than dealing with the ED, I ended up working harder, spending more time doing things, keeping myself busy.”

“After he was diagnosed and all of the ramifications of the treatment were clear,” says Caryn, “one of the first things John said to me was ‘you don’t want to marry me now.’”

June 2017
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